I’m not a very athletic person. I rarely watch sports games. I rarely watch games, to be exact. But one day in my life I happened to watch a baseball game. Yes, I’ve seen basketball games, badminton and tennis tournaments, et cetera, but this one’s a bit different. Though it simply was a normal baseball game, something stuck into my head. The principles of playing the game could be applied in real life.
I sat alone on the grass field, a few meters away from the entire baseball diamond. I was actually sitting on a higher ground, where spectators are really supposed to sit on for them to see the action fully. It wasn’t a big game at all. There were only few people watching, mostly children. The players were just two teams of young boys in the neighborhood, finding baseball as a way to get out of being idle. Nobody cheers for them. The children are only there to watch the game and see the action. I was there just to let time pass by.
Then I put myself into the shoes of the player. There I was, seeing the diamond mound in the player’s view. I was overwhelmed by what I am seeing. From this view I noticed how large it is. It must be really glorious to make a homerun. Someone patted on my shoulder. "What’s wrong?" another player asked me. "Uh. Nothing. It’s just that it looked a lot bigger here." I said, in a full voice of a boy. "Yes it is. But it doesn’t matter. We can make homeruns in every diamond, whatever their size is." He replied. I was struck. He spoke like no other carefree boy who usually run around and play with all their might. But I don’t know. He is maybe just too enthusiastic about the game. Maybe this is the game of his life. Maybe this is the game of their lives, of our lives, of my life.
Several players have batted before my turn. I observed them well. First, you have to prepare, or probably make a good stretch and do the right pose to be direct with the ball that is to be thrown. If you strike it too far, a homerun is possible. All you need for that is not luck, but strength, since the bat is amazingly heavy. You have to carry the bat well. Actually, it seems like you have to be one with the bat. It’s what they call coordination. I say it’s collecting you altogether.
When it’s a good strike, seize the day. Take the opportunity to run through the bases. When you’re caught, there’s always another chance. Being caught twice is a now-or-never situation. To be safe and successful, you can only be caught once. Nevertheless, you have to run and complete the diamond before the time runs out, that is the time used by the other team to retrieve the ball. If you reached the goal once, you can actually reach it again and again. We can achieve our dreams again and again until we cease to dream. The strategy here is to create a good strike and seize the opportunity.
I was then again back into where I sat. It was a good game after all. They lay on their backs laughing happily. And I was happy too, because in that moment, I learned something. Just looking at children play on the diamond mound gave me a lesson.
Wednesday, October 01, 2008
Losing Thoughts
If there ever was a reason why there are good writers, that reason could be attributed to their nonstop supply of thoughts. I am currently blank. I don’t know what to post about. Maybe it is because I’m too tired or something. But I just can’t think of anything significant. There’s just simply nothing I can tackle about – except my idleness. I am typing offline, so that I could post a big blast of entries when I’m online. Besides, that cuts down the cost of blogging. But by this time, all I need is to think. I need to have thoughts on my mind. And I hope I could catch any.
Jaded Princess
Time goes by so fast, fast enough for me not to notice that I am supposed to be celebrating my birthday by early next month. I don’t feel it. The sensation which happens whenever my big birthday approaches is lacking. This is going to be my first time to spend my birthday without my family around me. Having my family around gives me an assurance that everything’s going to be fine. It’s not that it’s not going to be fine this time. I just feel different. I just don’t feel it approaching.
Maybe it’s because in a home where hundreds of strangers dwell, only very few of them, very very few, will only be the ones to remind me of my upcoming birthday. Not all of my friends and acquaintances knew of my birthday, and I doubt if they even cared at all. For sure they’ll be wishing for blowouts and bonding times but for sure, I’ll be wishing to spend that day with my family, who never asked for blowouts and stuff, since they’re the ones responsible for it. It’s my day. I’m going to do whatever I wanted to and I’m going to ask for everything I wanted to receive.
Less than a week, probably, I’ll be celebrating this supposed-to-be-big birthday of mine. By that day, I’d be a princess in the eyes of my friends. I would be a princess of my own, in a worn-out t-shirt and probably overused jogging pants. I would be a princess with no enough money to make up even a small party. I would be a princess, with only my royal friends around to celebrate with me on my birthday. Perhaps I’d also be expecting a call from my family then. I’ll make sure that there’d be no tears. It might be uncontrollably saddening but I just want this different celebration still as happy as it was before.
Nevertheless, my life would never pause at any moment, and I, a princess of my own, shall live it with whatever that’s going to occur, with my head up and both feet on the ground, wearing my magnificent crown.
Maybe it’s because in a home where hundreds of strangers dwell, only very few of them, very very few, will only be the ones to remind me of my upcoming birthday. Not all of my friends and acquaintances knew of my birthday, and I doubt if they even cared at all. For sure they’ll be wishing for blowouts and bonding times but for sure, I’ll be wishing to spend that day with my family, who never asked for blowouts and stuff, since they’re the ones responsible for it. It’s my day. I’m going to do whatever I wanted to and I’m going to ask for everything I wanted to receive.
Less than a week, probably, I’ll be celebrating this supposed-to-be-big birthday of mine. By that day, I’d be a princess in the eyes of my friends. I would be a princess of my own, in a worn-out t-shirt and probably overused jogging pants. I would be a princess with no enough money to make up even a small party. I would be a princess, with only my royal friends around to celebrate with me on my birthday. Perhaps I’d also be expecting a call from my family then. I’ll make sure that there’d be no tears. It might be uncontrollably saddening but I just want this different celebration still as happy as it was before.
Nevertheless, my life would never pause at any moment, and I, a princess of my own, shall live it with whatever that’s going to occur, with my head up and both feet on the ground, wearing my magnificent crown.
Homebound
It is finally October and in just a few days, I’ll be making my way back home. It’s been months, and finally I’ll be with my family again, even for just a few weeks. I missed home. I miss that feeling of assurance that envelops me whenever I’m at home. I feel secured. I feel loved. I feel that whenever I’m at home, I will never fall. I love the feeling.
However, the semestral break is too short for me, although it is weeks. Perhaps that period would not be enough to satisfy my longing for my family. Time runs by so fast and in another day I’d be leaving them again, bound to school. But yes, time runs by so fast. In a week or another, I’d be going home again and spend vacations. It just happens. It is what life is.
However, the semestral break is too short for me, although it is weeks. Perhaps that period would not be enough to satisfy my longing for my family. Time runs by so fast and in another day I’d be leaving them again, bound to school. But yes, time runs by so fast. In a week or another, I’d be going home again and spend vacations. It just happens. It is what life is.
Downpour
I woke up this morning and looked up at the sky through the window. It was cloudy; grayish clouds dominate the sky, giving out a gloomy atmosphere all over the place. It was cloudy; yet, the sun’s extreme rays never failed to pierce its heat down my skin. But this time it just felt a bit comfortable. Maybe it’s because of the blockage of the clouds.
I was expecting for the rain to come. Everybody else was expecting that to happen too. My instinct never failed me. It rained just after noon. It was not the usual heavy rain, even though the latest typhoon storms on the news programs and on time-to-time weather forecasts. It never rained hard. It was just like a drizzle, only that raindrops were falling from all over. The rainclouds were generously pouring, but they probably took their time slowly pouring it down, just like the overrated saying, "slowly but surely."
When the rain occurs, typical things happen. People quickly open their umbrellas, whether it’s a Fibrella or just some other brand bought at the shopping center. Stray children, those usually collecting bottles - and, yes, they collect your food too, even if you haven’t eaten it yet- start to run and play, carefree despite of what illness the rain could provide them. The jeepneys would be fully filled by then, in an instant. The Toki jeepneys would then be very scarce, or probably endangered, by then.
The rain brings a sort of chaos and gloom. It would be much of a poise-less effort while the rain pours. It would require effort opening and closing an umbrella, making sure no one will be wet because of that umbrella. Even entering a jeepney in the rain requires effort too, because, of course, you will eventually finish an obstacle of wet upside-down umbrellas from both sides and ending up in the extremities, the seat behind the driver’s where you’ll be responsible for passing bills and coins, to and fro. For most people, the rain is an agony: it will do everything to ensure that you end up wet, no matter how large the circumference of your umbrella is and no matter how covered you are. For other people, usually the sensitive ones, the rain makes them sad. Probably because of the cold weather, the rain gives some people a time of their own, like a time to reflect or ponder, but only of negativities and other gloomy stuff.
However, like for kids, the rain brings joy. As I watched the children play, letting the rain make them wet, I pondered on my last time of doing the same thing. Honestly, I cannot remember it anymore but in doing so, the rain could be festive in a child’s perspective. It signifies freedom for the children, since most mothers would make sure that their children are with them at home and dry, and not "wasting time" and "doing foolishness" out in the downpour. In some places, or in farmlands in particular, the rain is much celebrated because after a hot unproductive drought, it then marks the season of productivity and wealth. The rain, in this perspective, is a blessing usually attributed from God. Then it is no wonder that most agricultural towns celebrate a big feast, whether it is a feast day of a saint or a feast of productivity, just after the rainy season started. Moreover, flowers usually bloom after the rainpour, which probably gives the sensation of happiness.
By this I went to the assumption of the new trend among Filipinos, from being optimistic to being pessimistic. We were being praised for our hospitality and generosity and happy manners, but indeed it was only applicable to the "then" times. In the "now" times, the usual Filipino would be seen without a smile worn on the face, probably burdened by the increasing cost of living and financial insufficiency. Filipinos by this time become too pragmatic and materialistic and merely practical. Surprisingly, it all started when Filipinos were educated and thought to be this liberal, thoughts opened to the possibility of failures. Indeed, no one’s to blame for this. We don’t have to blame. Blaming is only for losers. All we need to do is to change our ways.
I wish every one of us could have read books about being happy and stuff, like Andrew Matthew’s book and the Chicken Soup for The Soul series for example. By then we would find a brighter side to every flaw. By then the possibility of failures would dramatically decrease and all of us would be like children playing in the rain, without any care to whatever bad thing that may occur.
Then I lie still awake at night, listening to the sound of dripping and the faint drizzle outside my room. By this time I don’t want to have any care about whatever bad could happen. I wanna live a positive life, by starting to think positive. As what it was said to be, life is easy and carefree.
I was expecting for the rain to come. Everybody else was expecting that to happen too. My instinct never failed me. It rained just after noon. It was not the usual heavy rain, even though the latest typhoon storms on the news programs and on time-to-time weather forecasts. It never rained hard. It was just like a drizzle, only that raindrops were falling from all over. The rainclouds were generously pouring, but they probably took their time slowly pouring it down, just like the overrated saying, "slowly but surely."
When the rain occurs, typical things happen. People quickly open their umbrellas, whether it’s a Fibrella or just some other brand bought at the shopping center. Stray children, those usually collecting bottles - and, yes, they collect your food too, even if you haven’t eaten it yet- start to run and play, carefree despite of what illness the rain could provide them. The jeepneys would be fully filled by then, in an instant. The Toki jeepneys would then be very scarce, or probably endangered, by then.
The rain brings a sort of chaos and gloom. It would be much of a poise-less effort while the rain pours. It would require effort opening and closing an umbrella, making sure no one will be wet because of that umbrella. Even entering a jeepney in the rain requires effort too, because, of course, you will eventually finish an obstacle of wet upside-down umbrellas from both sides and ending up in the extremities, the seat behind the driver’s where you’ll be responsible for passing bills and coins, to and fro. For most people, the rain is an agony: it will do everything to ensure that you end up wet, no matter how large the circumference of your umbrella is and no matter how covered you are. For other people, usually the sensitive ones, the rain makes them sad. Probably because of the cold weather, the rain gives some people a time of their own, like a time to reflect or ponder, but only of negativities and other gloomy stuff.
However, like for kids, the rain brings joy. As I watched the children play, letting the rain make them wet, I pondered on my last time of doing the same thing. Honestly, I cannot remember it anymore but in doing so, the rain could be festive in a child’s perspective. It signifies freedom for the children, since most mothers would make sure that their children are with them at home and dry, and not "wasting time" and "doing foolishness" out in the downpour. In some places, or in farmlands in particular, the rain is much celebrated because after a hot unproductive drought, it then marks the season of productivity and wealth. The rain, in this perspective, is a blessing usually attributed from God. Then it is no wonder that most agricultural towns celebrate a big feast, whether it is a feast day of a saint or a feast of productivity, just after the rainy season started. Moreover, flowers usually bloom after the rainpour, which probably gives the sensation of happiness.
By this I went to the assumption of the new trend among Filipinos, from being optimistic to being pessimistic. We were being praised for our hospitality and generosity and happy manners, but indeed it was only applicable to the "then" times. In the "now" times, the usual Filipino would be seen without a smile worn on the face, probably burdened by the increasing cost of living and financial insufficiency. Filipinos by this time become too pragmatic and materialistic and merely practical. Surprisingly, it all started when Filipinos were educated and thought to be this liberal, thoughts opened to the possibility of failures. Indeed, no one’s to blame for this. We don’t have to blame. Blaming is only for losers. All we need to do is to change our ways.
I wish every one of us could have read books about being happy and stuff, like Andrew Matthew’s book and the Chicken Soup for The Soul series for example. By then we would find a brighter side to every flaw. By then the possibility of failures would dramatically decrease and all of us would be like children playing in the rain, without any care to whatever bad thing that may occur.
Then I lie still awake at night, listening to the sound of dripping and the faint drizzle outside my room. By this time I don’t want to have any care about whatever bad could happen. I wanna live a positive life, by starting to think positive. As what it was said to be, life is easy and carefree.
Blackout
Blackout, in medicine, is defined to be a temporary loss of consciousness, sight, or memory. Are blackouts already disturbing to our health? I don’t know. I haven’t come across with any article concerned on answering this question yet. But perhaps, it could be something to be alarmed of. Just this day, the blackout occurred to me twice. The first one happened after I suddenly stood up from lying on the bed this morning. I woke up and stood up immediately. Then I was dizzy. Droplets of cold sweat started to form on the surface of my skin. My sight was temporarily lost. I could only see a black background with little colorful dots clustering together like tiny peculiar galaxies. I hurried to have a seat. As I did, the sensation finally left me, leaving only the cold sweat and adding a headache. The second one occurred when I was simply sitting down. I suddenly stood up, and the same thing happened. I don’t know why things like this have to happen but perhaps they are due to sudden movements. I don’t know. Nevertheless, I have to be safer than ever.
Death
A while ago I was thinking about death. I haven’t seen someone die yet. And rarely had I seen dead people, mostly on television. I wonder how I will die. Just like anyone else, I wanted to die peacefully. If I wouldn’t die in sleep, I want to at least die in a memorable way. But I wish not to know how. Besides, it is mere nonsense to wish for a memorable death. People can say that they will never forget you after you die or so but there are really those forgetful people who wouldn’t even care. What I’m trying to say is that the world would not stop however dramatic a death of someone is. Yes, each one of us is special. But this peculiar equality never brought us above any other else. The world will keep on moving until its death. Nobody can move mountains. Nobody can make the world stop. It is just that people in reality simply die. Time will still pass by then. Everything is going to pass by then. So as long as I still am able to breathe and live, I’d take the opportunity before the opportunity takes me away.
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